7 November, 1995
Dear Sir or Madam:
Customer Service Center
345 Wilson Avenue
South Norwalk, Connecticut
I recently purchased a ThinkPad Backpack for my new IBM ThinkPad.
I am writing to inform you of a shortcoming I noticed in the pack
after opening it: it doesn't include a lucky penny.
Many people around the world keep the practice of placing a coin of
very small value in new items of luggage, wallets, or purses, so
that the recipient enjoys good fortune in the use of their gift.
Unfortunately, IBM Direct failed to do this for my new ThinkPad
backpack and now I am suffering the consequences. Here are
I noticed that there were two cards in the bag. One said that the
bag was inspected by Inspector Number 23, and the other was
inspected by Inspector Number 10. I'm worried that one of these
two inspectors has it out for me; why did they not provide a
lucky penny like everyone else would? Perhaps there is a lot
more to this than meets the eye. Maybe Inspector Number 10 has
some bad gambling debits and steals the pennies placed by
Inspector Number 23. Could that be? Would Inspector
Number 10 be idiotic enough to literally leave their calling
card after such a theft?
- I received an envelope from Ed McMahon, but it didn't inform
me that I was already a ten-million dollar winner.
- My friend's son plays hockey on his high school's team.
They were enjoying a fifteen-game winning streak before m
friend invited me to a game. I went to the game with my ThinkPad,
and the team lost in a 15-0 shutout!
- On my way to work three days after buying my backpack, a
tanker truck carrying liquid oxygen plowed into my car while
I was stopped at an intersection just a mile from my home.
The resulting explosion engulfed my car, though I was thankfully
thrown clear of the wreckage. The patented Shock Absorber
System™ in my bag protected my computer.
I hope that you will perform a background check on your existing
quality assurance employees, and make sure that new employees
are subject to the same research before a hiring decision is made.
This kind of embezzlement must be costing you millions of dollars
every year and untold dismay in the lives of your customers.
6260 139th Avenue Northeast, #79